Here's some pictures of his first day.
I am so glad that Ben went to pre-school, even if it was just for one trimester. This helped him anticipate what was coming and be excited for meeting new friends and playing on the playground.
After dropping Ben off for his first day of pre-school, I just barely held it together as I speed-walked to the car with Sam in tow. As soon as I shut the door, I burst in to tears. My first lovey, my buddy boy, my little man was growing up much too fast. I would have to share him, not only with his pre-school teacher, but with all of the new friends he would make at school. I would miss him dreadfully. I DO miss him dreadfully.
I was pretty sure that dropping Ben off for the first day of Kindergarten would be even more difficult. With Levi in the carrier, and Sam holding my hand, I felt my throat begin to swell as I watched Ben walk next to his new teacher to place his backpack carefully in his cubby. Just then, Sam asked me a question. I had to snap out of my moment of grief to help him, then ran into a few other friends dropping off their kids. I gave Ben a big hug, whispered in his ear to remember that Jesus would be with him and I would be praying. I left him looking happily at a book, sitting on the colorful carpet amidst a dozen other little ones. He barely looked up when I left, so I knew he would be okay. I also knew he would be home in 2.5 hours. I teared up just a tiny bit each time I felt the heartache of miss him that first week, but overall did pretty well.
The first time I shed some real tears was a couple of days ago, after Ben came home bummed about his day at school. At first, we could not get out of him what was wrong. Eventually, it trickled out that a couple of instances with other kids were less than positive. Apparently, some kids in line kept telling Ben, "No cutting! No cutting!" The problem? Ben had no idea what "cutting" meant, so he did not realize he should go to the end of the line. Over dinner, we demonstrated for Ben what this meant, so now he gets it. Poor kid. The other instance was at recess. He was in the line for the tether ball and wanted to play with the boy. The boy, however, just kept playing by himself. Ben never asked to play, ("I'm too shy, Mommy!), so it wasn't really the boy's fault, but Ben was left standing by himself for quite a while. Anyways, I was telling my mom about this that night and I soon as I started explaining his day, I started crying.
It is hard to send my little one out "on his own" for a while each day. It is painful to think about him standing at tether ball feeling so sad. It breaks my heart to think of other kids shouting at him about cutting when he doesn't know what it means. I so want to protect him, keep him under my wings, have him where I can see him all day. It would actually be so much easier for me to keep him home! But, as my Mom reminded me, Jesus is with him. Ben told me himself that when he was riding on the bus, he remembered Jesus is with him. When he was playing with the toy bear in his classroom, he remembered that God made the bears. This schooling thing is an act of trust on my part. A big huge reliance on my Heavenly Father to take care of that which I love the very most. And you know what? On Thursday, when Ben came home from school, he was skipping and excited about all he had learned.
I started this post over a month ago now, and I am so pleased to report that Ben is enjoying his time at school. He has met a couple of little boys that are now his friends, and he speaks fondly of his teacher. I have been able to do some teaching in his classroom (yay!) and will have my first official volunteer post in there next week. We meet him for lunch sometimes, we walk him to school, and overall I am already feeling connected to our little local school! God is good. Also, I've noticed how our devotional times in the mornings have taken on such a relevance. Ben listens closely, asks questions, remembers little details about what we discussed in weeks past. We pray for some of the little ones in his class, for his teachers, and his school. We memorize verses for him to say while he walks through the doors (Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For the Lord, your God, will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9). We sing songs which I purposely hope get stuck in his head.
I am excited to see how God grows our family this year: grows our faith and trust in His protection, grows our love for our community, and grows our diligence in teaching our children how to live in the world but not of it.
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