Nate's Trip to Anchorage, Part 2

Part 1 here.

 Nate took this photo of Kash on a basketball trip, 

while trying to teach him how to tie his tie. 

Nate's trip to Anchorage included two legs.  Part one, from Portland to Seattle, he sat on the aisle with a tall older man folded into the window seat.  For most of the trip they did not talk, but towards the end Nate struck up a conversation.  Come to find out, this man is a heart surgeon who grew up on the streets of Philadelphia and eventually became a professional basketball player.  He even played with Wilt Chamberlain and was there when he scored 100 points!  When this man (whose name Nate can't remember) found out the where and why of Nate's destination, he was really moved.  He told Nate some of the science behind a concussion, but even more importantly put his hand on Nate's knee several times and told him what a good thing it was he was doing.

This encouragement was SO necessary, as Nate was feeling anxious and even fearful about what would happen when he landed.  What if nobody was at the airport when he arrived?  He had no hotel reservations or transportation.  What if he called up the Ferguson's and they said in monotone: "The service is at 10 tomorrow.  See you then?"  What if they were thinking to themselves, "Nate should just mind his own business?"  All of these scenarios played through Nate's mind over and over.  This unnamed man gave Nate the courage to keep trusting God's plan.

When Nate arrived in Anchorage at 8pm, he called me while de-boarding the plane and expressed these concerns.  "This trip has been an emotional roller coaster, Heidi.  I'm just gonna hang out in the airport for a bit before I (get up the nerve to) call Casey," he said.  Then, while still on the phone with me, "Wait... Wait!  There's Ula!  I'll call you later, okay?"  When he hung up, I had a HUGE smile on my face.  I didn't tell Nate, but I was concerned about what would happen too.  Now, I knew it would be okay.

What happened was that Ula (Lena's oldest son, who has a different dad from the Ferguson boys, but who is still a big brother, used to serve as the mayor of Chevak, and is a few years older than Nate and I), was waiting for Nate and gave him a huge long embrace.  "We're glad you came, Nate," he said simply.  Nate can't talk about that hug without crying.  It was the Ferguson's saying: "We need you here."  It was God saying: "See?"

Connor was waiting out in the truck, and the 3 of them headed straight to a city league basketball game that Casey was playing in honor of Kash's memory.  Nate sat in the crowd surrounded by Chevak kids: Deanna Tuluk, Quincy and Nate Bennett, Brian Andrews, Martha Miles, Aaron, Michael and Fred Ulroan, Jaylene and Lynette Pequeno.  It was like a sad, happy, surreal reunion between he and some of his most memorable students.  Like no time had passed at all.

After the game, Nate, Ula and Connor headed back to the house, a house Harry and Lena had purchased in Anchorage while she was undergoing cancer treatments.   When he walked in the door, Ula told Nate, "Dad wants to see you.  He's downstairs."  Harry was/is broken and full of guilt.  Nate attempted to offer comfort, they shared some memories about Kash.  Harry also asked Nate if he would speak at the funeral.

At 1am, Nate couldn't keep his eyes open, having been up for 21 hours, so even though the house was crowded with literally dozens of Chevakers, Kash's Anchorage friends, and family, he fell asleep in one of the rooms.  At 4:30am, more Chevak college kids came in from Fairbanks and when he woke up the next morning, the ground was covered with young people sleeping:  Amber Jones, Joel Jones, Tumartaq Ulroan, Brandon Nanok, Thecla Ulroan and more.   Nate hung out, drank coffee and helped set-up for the viewing.  He didn't really have time to prepare what he was going to say, but he trusted God would give him the words.  As one who spends a dozen or more hours preparing for a 30 minute sermon at home, this was a big act of trust.

The service was special.  They church was crowded with 300 or so people (remember, Anchorage is not even Kash's hometown).  They showed a slideshow of Kash and displayed some of his memorabilia.

Nate found himself disappointed, however, by how the priest handled the service.  He lacked sincerity and empathy.  The noisy children put him off, he seemed in a hurry to get it over with.  There was life in the Words that he read, but his homily offered little comfort.  Religion, but no relationship.  A lot of pious talk and flowing robes; little of God's heart.

Nate's ended up being the very last person to share, after Harry, Ula, Casey and Connor, and a couple of Kash's other friends had stood and shared stories of Kash's selflessness and love for life.  Nate's message was simple, but to the point.  It went something like this:

Like of others have shared, Kash was a good example of humility.  Humility isn't thinking less of yourself but more like thinking about yourself less.  Kash did that.  He thought of others first.

When I think about Kash, it makes me want to praise God for His creativity; his ability to put into one young man all of the gifts, talents, personality, good humor, endurance - all in one package.  We can praise God for Kash.

Memories comfort us, but our ultimate comfort comes from God the Father.  He knows our sorrow.  He understands.  You see, God is a Father who also lost a Son.  

It was simple and to the point, but it was God's Heart for the Ferguson's and Harry that day.  Nate felt prompted to share the last segment while standing at the pulpit.   Looking back, we feel that speaking the above words were one reason God wanted Nate to be there, as His messenger of grace.

The rest of the day was exhausting and wonderful, full of sorrow and meaning.  They held a potlatch and a yuraq (Eskimo Dance) for Kash and went to the mall and bowling later that night.  Nate rode back to the house with Harry and Connor.  Harry told Nate he appreciated his comforting words. 

Nate and Deanna at the potlatch

Nate and Amber at the potlatch

Nate took the red eye out of Anchorage at 2am, and the boys and I picked him up at 9am the next morning.    Even now, thinking back on it, the weekend feels like a dream.

I know it may not seem like a big deal for Nate to fly North for the weekend, but for us it was.  You see, when your faith is weak, yet you trust and obey anyway, God blesses you with more faith.   He blessed us with air miles, and money to go.  He blessed me at home with the boys.  I swear I had more patience and joy for them than any other weekend this year!  He blessed us with the opportunity to live and serve alongside the Ferguson's.  He blessed us with the chance to know Kash, his parents, and his brothers.  He blessed us by placing in our hearts just the tiniest drop of the LOVE He has for the kids of Chevak.  He blessed us because He could have found another way to express His love for Kash and His friends and family, but instead He let us be a part of it.

We will miss Kash and his beautiful smile.  We are thankful for his life and that his life makes us praise our Father and Creator.